Sadness is beautiful

Something Yulun ( my best freind) wrote for me today, i love and miss u ! =)

2005-03-07T03:29:00.000-08:00

tonight is the night i think of you
for tonight is the night i miss you
thoughts of yesterday and hopes of a tomorrow
where would i be, i wouldnt know
memories of the past
desirs of reconciliation
lost love between friends
more like rejuvination
you laugh at my jokes
you hear me talk
wiping away tears
together we walk
years ago it was like that
years later i miss that
tonight is the night i think of you
for tonight is the night i miss you

Tolerance

2005-02-17T11:00:00.000-08:00

He dragged her by her hair, into the living room
Picked up the iron rod and slashed her, till blood corned the floor
Amidst all the screams of agony, and of all the pain
Came a cry from a small corner, a cry for “help” from a little girl
Watching her mother being brutally beaten up, by her father
But the little girl knew that ‘help’ wouldn’t come, it never did
Death seemed the only escape
Years passed by and the little girl grew up, but the screams still haunted her
The screams not only by her mother but also, of thousands other people around her
Somehow she knew, she must stop them
Somehow she must help them, somehow she must fight
For the rights of the people, for tolerance
She won’t accept violence anymore; she wont let the screams haunt her
Instead, she makes them stop -- by spreading peace and love
I stand now near her grave
Remembering the good deeds she had done
I tell her she made a differenceAnd that now it was my turn

His own ways

2005-02-15T04:42:00.000-08:00

God has his own ways of showing us right and wrong
It’s like you're in a maze
With alot of dead ends
And alot of surprises
At a point in life when you want to give up
He’s telling you "you can do it"
Along the maze you make a friend, and two more
And when you are not aware
God is watching you
The maze is not easy
But he didn't make it too hard either
Many got through it,
Some sad, some happy
I personally think it’s the way you look at it
God has his own way
Of making people fall in love
His own way to show the right and wrong
Letting each of us choose our path
He has his own way,
To give people the sense of realization
He has his own ways to make
The impossible possible, and the unbelievable believable
God has his own ways
To watch, look over, guide, help, and love us
His very own unique ways!

You cheated and i cried

2004-12-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

You came in my life
Made it really bright
Promised me dreams
But left me without fulfilling them
You were close to me
I thought you would be
Till the very end
But you left me
Near the fire to watch me burn
You never looked back at me
Never wondered how I was doing
But I survived
The wounds will remain
Yet I will survive
Never imagined I would have to see this day
When I needed you
You dint come
When I longed for you
Others came
Now I’m tattered and torn
Torn into bits and pieces
But I will get through this
I’ll struggle and keep a happy face
I’ll get over you in no time
I promise
I’ll be happy without you
I promise
But I’ll never forgive you or forget you
This too , I promise

a few questions unanswerd and much debated upon

2004-12-15T13:58:00.000-08:00

is death a choice ? are human realtionships possible ?is life really a misunderstading ?how can there is destiny if there was no design to life ?are emotions real or pretence?are human relationships really possible ?

Thank Him

2004-12-15T13:40:00.000-08:00

The following lines are dedicated to her .
She is one hell of a great girl , she knows how to make every person laff .. shes always willing to take blame on her .. shes so much fun to be aorund , even if we can sit and have a 5 min convo it'll be the best i'll have .
She thinks she is confused bout alot of thigns in life ... shes jsut a bit off track at times but shes on right track before she even knows it
shes got this innocence in her and this kid alwez jumping bout .
We were just talkin on msn and she made me realise so many things , so this goes out to u
"im sorry for all the times ive made u sad .. specially right now , and i just want you to know that u are a very important person to me , a sister a freind and i will always be there for you and love you , ur unique and amazing "
this is one of my best friends .

Other than her i have two more best freinds , sitting in canada .. they too mean so much to me and a lot more

Thank you god for sendin three angels down upon me ... i use to say "there really is a God and beer is the proof" ... lame ? very! but now i say " there really is a God ... hes sent not 1 but 3 angels to take care of me"

Thank you so much !

I am You

2004-12-15T13:33:00.000-08:00

you look so simple
untouched by complications
you look so straight
untouched by hate
you act so well
undone by sin
as if theres nothing left to win
but i wish this mirror was clean
true reflections coming through
i wish the light was bright enough
to kill these lines within
your conscience is so claer
eternally un-stained
your shadows so dark
it shadows your within
your compnay so fixed
even men seem loyal
i can see through you
you will notice someday
i can think like you
you will regret one day
i am you
i repent everyday

Lies

2004-12-15T13:14:00.000-08:00

You said you loved my smile
a lie was told
you said my eyes were beautiful
lies only grow
you said my voice was stunning
lies continue
you said , the smell of my hair was sweet like me
the lie works like a charm
you said the perfume i put on is your favourite
even though i use a different one every time ? , it doesnt hurt to lie
my childish talk , you found very cute
i call it a cute lie
my worried thoughts you said depressed you
lies cant depress anyone can they ?
you said you loved me
i called it a white lie
i said i'd move on if things didnt work
this time i lied
you said you were sick of me
now the truth was out and it hurt
i smiled and said you didnt matter to me either
but i knew that wasnt true
at times lies hurt you more than the truth
and at times the truth hits you more than a lie
somethings are meant to be
and some just arnt

Dedicated to you

2004-12-15T13:03:00.000-08:00

You've been there when i was down
trying to cheer me up by being a total clown
you've been there when im on cloud number nine
in time to always get me down
you've been there when i've shed a tear
ready to catch it , trying hard not to let it fall
you've been there on my 'big days'
reassuring me that i'm great , even if im not
you've been there in the cold
to always make me warm
we go to our imaginary trips
to the moon , mars , and so on
you've been there when im walking the wrong way
just so that i have company
you've been ther when im walking the right way
'cause the wrong way is no fun without me
you've been there in those dark days
lighting the candles, making it bright
you've been there in those bright days
making sure it doesnt get dark
you've been there throught my ups and downs
making me smile never letting me frown
and mostly you've been there
throughtout !

Untitled

2004-12-15T11:16:00.000-08:00

I look at those eyes
the ones i see everyday
every day they are the same
but today i notice something different
i see a sparkle and i see a flicker
and i wonder what's wrong today
why is there that sparkle, that flicker ?
and when i ask you about it
you just play with my hair
i smile with you
and notice something new
but i cant figure out what it is
you promise me you'll tell me today
you say its the most important thing
you have to tell me today
and yet you say nothing
you go home after promising to call me
and tell me what that thing is
its been over an hour , you still dint call
i switch on the news , a boy got shot
during war today , thats sad
but when will you call ?
later today , im told that boy is you
i go to your house , im sorry for your parents
i find a diary on your desk
and open it to read "i love you"
writeen under my name
why didnt you tell me that
right there ?right then ?
its been a week since i cried
i look at your picture
i look at those eyes
i miss you everyday
i hope you know
again i wish you would have told me before
but now that i am besides you
please say those sweet words to me
i only shot myself for you
so please say those precious words to me
so that you can live on in my memory
for eternity

Death

2004-12-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

Suddenly the whole world seems dark
and everything i imagined perfect
looks all wrong
the dailtone in the phone
seems to be lost
the freinds near by
have gone far away
the voice of the chirpy birds
seems to have faded away
the dog always barking
seems to have caught his cat
the light bulb always lit
seems to have been fused
the blowing wind
seems tired now
the bright big sun
has set away
the day has gone
the night has come
and alas another day has passes
i live another day close to my destination
meanwhile i must make sure the soil is dug
the gravestone carved
and my family ready with flowers

Life - a box of chocolates ?

2004-12-13T03:52:00.000-08:00

When i was a little girl
my mother often told me
"life is like a box of chocolates
never know what's coming to you"
and as i grew up
i started understanding
what it meant
when you feel , you're the happiest person alive
there is always comeone who seems happier
when you feel your wishes coming true
it is too late to make use of them
the happiness of a new born
the sadness of a loved one gone
a frown to see an orphan
a smile to see his adoption
the feeling of being loved
the feeling of being hurt
the words never spoken
the words desired to be heard
the smell of homade cookies
the taste from the bakery
the half full glass of the optimist
the half empty of the pessimist
but my mother was also right in sayin
"no matter what taste the chocolate brings you
"learn to gulp it down with a glass of milk"